XBLAwhawhawhawhawhaw

Time to play some catch-up, first with last week's Arcade offerings, and then this week's newest.

Battlezone
4/16/08, Atari
Achievements: 12 (9 offline for 145gs, 3 online for 55gs)
Cost: 400 MP
I am the tank. Get in the fucking tank and die.

For those unfamiliar with the original, Battlezone is a first-person tank shooter, set on the moon or some such, with essentially endless enemies until you 'splode. While a pretty basic concept, it gets fun very quickly.

This is probably the first updated arcade title I've encountered whose original dual-stick control scheme translates really well to the twin analogs on a 360 controller. Robotron and Smash TV are examples of games that tried, but didn't quite pull it off. Gameplay on the whole hasn't been tweaked much from the original, save for the addition of online deathmatch and CTF modes, but if it ain't broke, et cetera.

As for the update, it was mostly graphical. I like the route they went, which was mostly just upgrading the wireframe look of the original for more detail's sake, and then filling objects with this sort of glowy color look, which maintains a level of minimalism while still looking fairly good in HD. The audio's barely changed, from what I noticed, which is great for nostalgia's sake.

The achievement list is straightforward, as arcade game updates' tend to be. High scores, blowing up X of Y, and doing well in multiplayer are where the bulk of your rewards will come from. Not the easiest 200gs, but at the same time, it doesn't seem mindnumbingly difficult.

All in all, it wouldn't hurt to plonk down 400 MP on one of the best arcade upgrades to date. Go for it.


Rocky and Bullwinkle
4/16/08, Microsoft
Achievements: 12 (all offline, 200gs)
Cost: 800 MP
Jay Ward and Wario hooked up and had one ugly, ugly baby.

Conceptually, this game is kind of cute. You play through "episodes," compiled of different short segments like the original TV show, and can go back to replay shuffles of those segments as you unlock more shows.

In reality, however, ugh. The controls are okay for the most part, until you get hit with the camera-controlled games that use the Xbox Live Vision. I'm almost certain the camera controls are even clunkier than in Totemball, XBLA's ancient, first foray into camera-based gaming. The normally controlled games aren't that much less frustrating, and I ended up just quitting halfway through because I didn't want to deal with it.

I give the game some credit for maintaining a decent approximation of the Rocky & Bullwinkle feel and sound, though it looks really weird as crisp as it does in hi def. Where's the film grain? It just doesn't feel quite right if you were a fan of the original show, like I am. I may forgive some of this if they bring up chocolate pan dowdy, but this almost makes that godawful live action movie seem worth watching. Ward Studios really needs to be more careful where they throw this license.

Catch 'em all fest when it comes to achievements. Just do everything until you complete it 100%. You know, if you don't kill yourself first.

If you've got 800 MP to throw down just to grind out some more gamerscore and add a completed game notch to your belt, worse things could happen. No hurries, though, and you might as well delete it as soon as you're done milking it.

Lost Cities
4/23/08, Sierra Online
Achievements: 12 (10 offline for 175gs, 2 online for 25gs)
Cost: 800 MP
Didn't I play this in Xenogears? Or at some drunken high school party?

Lost Cities is a card game based on the idea that you're exploring one of five colored sets of "ruins," which are represented by... uninteresting, broken up cards. You draw color-corresponding cards to play and further your exploration of (and thereby profit from) these cities, in the hopes that you make more money in the long run than your opponent.

LC plays well enough for a card game, and basically has a similar feel to other strategy tabletop games on XBLA, like Carcasonne and Catan. There's not much room to complain when all you have are mechanics for drawing and discarding cards.

Unfortunately, it seems like they really phoned in everything besides the ruleset, which I imagine already had a real life counterpart. It's not ugly by any means, but the interface is pretty boring. The guy on the main menu changing expressions with the different choices? Yeah, doesn't help that much. I guess the fact you can play against people with the Vision camera running is supposed to distract you from how dull everything is. One thing that really confuses me is why they reward you with unlockable art. Why couldn't you have just put this in the game, so I'd be visually compelled to play?

Oh, and remember how I said it's like Catan and Carcasonne in its basic feel? The music's similar to their fare as well - low-key and unobtrusive, which makes it just as unmemorable.

Style points and winning are the theme of the achievements, with a couple thrown in there to get you playing online multiplayer. I pray things get more interesting with someone to talk to, as what otherwise is an okay game is just going to drown in the sea of mediocrity.

Another no-rusher, but if you're into quick card games that involve a little strategy, and poker's not up your alley, it could be worth it.