This is not helping my recovery at all.

Live Arcade pretty much shat the bed this week when it came to new games, and I discuss how bad I am at playing a virtual version of a sport I played poorly when I was eight. XBLA updates first, since they're going to be quick.

Coffeetime Crosswords
Achievements: 12 (all offline, 200gs)
Cost: 800 MS Points

I'm a word nerd, so I should be all over this, but tell me something. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD MAKE A CROSSWORD GAME WITHOUT ANY SORT OF KEYBOARD SUPPORT?! This is so not worth 800 points, but I might end up buying it anyway.

Double D Dodgeball
Achievements: 12 (8 offline for 115gs, 4 online for 85gs)
Cost: 800 MS Points

Ugly "retro" styled dodgeball game with terrible control scheme. You'd think they'd map shooting to the A button or something, but no. It's on the right trigger. I pretty much had to get raped for a bit before I figured that out. To hell with this, I'll wait for Pirates vs Ninjas Dodgeball thx.

It might be worth mentioning here that we had a kid we called "Double D" in high school, which was short for "Dickless Doug."

EA Fantasy Football Live Draft Tracker
Achievements: 12 (All online? I dunno. 200gs)
Cost: 400 MS Points

I don't understand Fantasy Football at all. Here's hoping I can find some other people willing to throw away five bucks for what looks like it's a fairly easy 200gs. One day.

And now, sport.

College Hoops: NCAA 2K8
Achievements: 30 (26 offline for 870gs, 4 online for 130gs)

I played basketball as a kid, but didn't really get it beyond "ball goes in hoop, you get points." I don't get plays, I have trouble watching it, and I don't know any of the defensive or dribbling tricks or anything. Of course, I knew I was going to go far with this game.

You can get a handful of achievements just by going in and making your own chant, a crappy play, and doing the easiest training mission, as well as uploading your crappy starting roster. Woop de doo. Other than that, I'm pretty much hopeless. One of the nice things is that you can spam the offline achievements with two controllers and some settings tweaks, but I do not have the patience for that.

Be forewarned that there's one online achievement, for 20gs, that you pretty much can't get now - it was a qualification thing for an online tourney this past February. I thought that sort of thing violated the whole 1000gs out of the box thing, but whatever. Less than an hour in, and I'm shipping it back.

At least it looks fairly neat, and was kind of fun even though I was completely lost. Throwing your player into a random match right when you start up the game? NOT THE BEST IDEA.