I may find myself delayed.

Before anything else, I'd like to point out that they finally released Darth Vader as DLC for Soul Calibur IV, and you want him. Bad. I'm not that great with him, but some dude schooled me with him online and trust me, the man is siiiiiiick. He is possibly also the only thing that sounds funnier than Yoda with a Japanese voice track.

Also, Siouxsie & The Banshees pack for Rock Band/2. Killing Jar, Hong Kong Garden, and Kiss Them For Me. You need it.

Portal: Still Alive
Achievements: 12 (all offline, 200gs)
MS Points: 1200

Sure, it's just a port of the version on the Orange Box, but given that it's still one of the best games ever put together, why not pony up for the extra challenge levels and developer commentary? Or save yourself a few bucks if you haven't gotten Orange Box already, in case you really, really didn't want the rest of that extra content, and are stark raving mad to boot?

Achievement spread is mostly a few tricks and the challenge levels, since they realize most people out there played the OB version already. Worth the money, just make sure you have drive space for it.

Armored Core: For Answer
Achievements: 41 (24 offline for 570gs, 17 online for 430gs)

And with this, I have played every retail game beginning with A released in the US to date. Ding!

This follow-up to Armored Core 4, in case you couldn't figure that out from the logo, could be dubbed Armored Core Of The Colossus. There's the usual spread of area clearing and target elimination missions as per previous AC games, but every chapter seems to end with a raid on a giant walking base bristling with firepower, called an Arms Fort. They tell you the weak spots you have to take out during the briefing, and then the "fun" part is actually getting to them before you get raped.

There's also an arena of sorts this time around; versus missions against other AC units with a ranking system you can climb, and they're nice enough to pay you as well.

The one innovation that did impress me somewhat is that they finally provided an alternate control scheme, where your firing buttons are the bumpers instead of A & B, while A & B are swapped to the weapon switch roles. Still a little weird trying to fire your lefty weapon while jetting around, but I think it's a vast improvement regardless. Veterans will probably disagree, but whatever. I've been playing AC here and there since the PS1 versions, and I've never gotten used to the setup.

Offline achievements are all story and mission rank, as well as different endings, and online play gets you stuff for climbing the ranks and blowing up a lot of shit (10,000 online kills? Excuse me?). Basically more of the same, but it didn't get any worse.

Baja: Edge Of Control
Achievements: 50 (50 for 990gs, 1 online for 10gs)

If DiRT was Gran Turismo Rally, this is Gran Turismo Dune Buggy. I should mention now that as soon as I saw the THQ logo starting up, I went into this with some severe bias. I hate THQ. I hate them lots. This was only ratcheted up when I found myself looking at an intro screen featuring full motion video. It's like I have a Sega CD all over again! NICE!

All in all, the game isn't that bad, thankfully. The controls are a little clumsy until you get used to them, but the customization and tweaking is at least second-rate, with lots of little slider bars to adjust your camber and other terms I'm only mildly familiar with, and plenty of parts to buy.

Even on easy, I was getting my ass handed to me, but then again, I wasn't so good with the controls, and the early races are easy enough to repeat, as well as the rewards being decent even early on, to justify playing them a few times to get the hang of things.

Not great for an achievement blitz, since most of them are for digging through career or beating races against hard AI, but good fun if you're into desert racing. I love that they included both short courses and the actual marathon runs through the desert.

Before you ask, I don't understand the whole thing with the single online achievement, either. It even sounds like they were expecting to put a few more in, since it's called Basic Multiplayer, but it's like they just forgot. THANKS THQ YOU'RE SUPER.

Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?
Achievements: 12 (10 offline for 190gs, 2 online for 10gs)
MS Points: 1200

I'm not actually sure if the last one is an online one, but it sounds like a viral achievement so it probably is.

This would be a great easy achievement run if it didn't cost an unjustifiable 1,200 points. I blew through the demo questions in about five minutes, and if anything, they should be paying me 1200 points just to sit and listen to that fucking theme song.

Wait for the price to drop. No one should have to pay this much for Jeff Foxworthy, real or virtual.

Penny Arcade: On The Rainslick Precipice Of Darkness - Episode 2
Achievements: 12 (all offline, 200gs)
MS Points: 1200

Unfortunately, I'm avoiding the demo on this one due to having not yet finished the first episode, but if it's anything like said episode, it's awesome. I don't need to play it to know you should buy it.